one - [video] - i'm stronger than all of this

[videocamera]

[The screen clicks on and Andrew appears, his face extremely pale except for the reddish patches of scabs and scarring on the right side of his face. There's remnants of blood below his nose and on his chin, like he just had a nosebleed and didn't wipe it off completely. Which is exactly what happened. He speaks quietly but his tone hints at both fear and anger.]

What is this, huh? What did you do to me? I can't-- [He interrupts himself with a more frantic note in his tone] Is this some kind of, of joke?

[His voice gets flatter.] I shouldn't be here. I'm stronger.

[The journal starts to shake, the picture jittering slightly. Then Andrew's nose starts to bleed again and the shaking stops, position slightly changed, now angled to give a shot of a messy bedroom behind Andrew's shoulder. His face is mostly off screen now but you can see his hands held up to his nose before the feed shuts off]

Comments

[videocamera]

[Yeah, maybe he is being an asshole, but he can't help it. He's frustrated and frightened and it makes him angry. He can't just trust a pretty girl who probably had a great life compared to him. She reminds him of Monica, her laughing friends. His voice is strained.]

I bet you're popular, right? You've got friends-- people that want to, like, talk to you, spend time with you? Right? If you knew me back at school, you wouldn't want to talk to me. You'd, you'd probably just laugh at me.

[lydiascreams]

Sweetheart.

[That is said with a smile, but it isn't the same soft smile as before. No, this one means 'you're gonna regret that'.]

Let's make some things clear. What you know about me are my name, where I come from, and that I'm a Warden. You know nothing about my friends [and that word comes with a weight now that it didn't have before] and who they are.

I don't laugh at people. [Bullying has never been her chosen method to gain popularity. Even if she did it with Jackson on occasion, although really that was more like mutual sexual blackmail.]

This isn't High School. So why don't you stop assuming you know anything, get outside your room and tell me the number on the door.

[Because goddamnit she is going to prove him wrong and she is going to start by dragging him to the infirmary.]

[videocamera]

Why? [Suddenly his voice is so much more distrustful that it was before.] What do you even want from me? You don't know me. Why don't you just leave me alone?

[lydiascreams]

I don't want anything from you.

[Her eyes narrow because he's already infuriating. But she manages to compose herself and hold back on how sharp her next words are.]

Actually, I do. I want you to tell me where you are so I can take you to the infirmary and you can stop bleeding all over your room. Because I'm a warden and helping people is kind of the reason I'm here.

[videocamera]

[He looks away from the camera as she talks, frustration building up until he has to release it. It would have been a undirected burst of force, pushing objects from his desk and scattering his room even further. The power should be easy, should come so simply from his mind, but of course, everything's all messed up here. It doesn't work and he can feel his head pounding, pressure building up and he stops before his nose starts leaking blood again.]

Look, I-- I don't want to go to the infirmary. I know what's wrong with me.

[lydiascreams]

You might know what's wrong with you, but that obviously won't stop the bleeding.

[She points out in a slightly sarcastic but mostly stern tone.]

Listen. Your powers aren't working here. You're obviously weakened. Let me walk you there and I'll leave you alone.

[videocamera]

[He's silent for what seems like a long time, then shakes his head. This is all way too unreal right now.]

Fine, fine. [He's pretty sure he's going to regret this, but the fight's kind of drained out of him right now.] Okay. It said, um- 7...15?

[lydiascreams]

[Finally. She's relieved and glad she managed to talk him into it, but also that he's actually getting some help.]

Okay. I'll be there in a second. Just don't use your powers again.

spam?

[videocamera]

Okay.

[And yep, he basically instantly regrets saying yes. What does she want? Why does anyone here care about what's happening to him? They don't know him; he doesn't buy the stuff about wardens just caring because. That just sounds like total bullshit, in his experience.

He waits for her, tension and anxiety building every moment, answering the other people who replied.]

Spam!

[lydiascreams]

[It takes her a few minutes to make it from her room to the 7th floor, but by the time she knocks on his door, she's ready to not be a bitch to him. Especially since she knows how hard it cam be for inmates when they first arrive.

Unless he gets on her nerves again, she's willing to play nice.]

Spam!

[videocamera]

[Andrew, on the other hand, is basically a giant ball of nerves right now. He answers the door a moment after she knocks, cracking it open a sliver and peering out before cautiously opening it a little wider.]

Hi. [He doesn't sound sullen exactly, but he definitely doesn't sound enthused by the whole situation.]

Spam!

[lydiascreams]

Hi.

[She eyes him for a moment and she can tell he seems wary, but she doesn't care.]

It will be a walk over to level 2, can you make it?

Spam!

[videocamera]

A walk isn't going to kill me or anything, I'm fine. [Better than he should be, considering. Yes, he's got scabs and burns on his arms and legs, but they're healing - like they're from injuries that happened weeks ago. It took him a while to work up the nerve to check but there's no sign of where the spear went through his chest.

He's got a small video camera in one hand and as he steps out the door, it's clear he's filming. He pans from his bedroom behind him, to the Barge hallway, to her. It feels strange and clunky to have to hold the camera by hand, but he can't risk using his abilities again right now.]

Spam!

[lydiascreams]

Hopefully it won't.

[As they walk, she watches him filming everything. It's not like the queen of selfies is camera shy, but it feels weird to have him randomly filming her like that.]

What are you doing?

Spam!

[videocamera]

[The camera has been drifting from her to the hall doors they're passing, but he's filming her when she asks about it; he looks down, focusing on the small picture in the camera's digital screen.]

Uh. It's just something I did, at home, I guess. I like to film stuff. Record it. [Yes, he knows people think it's weird. No, he probably won't stop.]

Spam!

[lydiascreams]

[Well, that certainly explains why he'd think someone like her wouldn't talk to him. Because it is weird. But no, she's not planning on asking him to stop. Whatever comforts him while he transitions into the Barge. At least he's not hurting himself.

And it's not like he can upload a video of her looking less than perfect to the internet from here anyway.]

What kind of things do you usually film?

Spam!

[videocamera]

[The fact that she doesn't immediately say he's a freak for it wins her a few points with him.]

I don't know. Just, everything? When I go out, go to school, stuff like that. Life and stuff. [He shrugs, still watching her on the small screen rather than looking at her.]

Spam!

[lydiascreams]

[She looks down at the camera for a second, because she'd rather look at the person she's talking to and have them look back, but then she focuses on his actual face again.

After all she figures he must have some kind of social anxiety and this might help him with it.]

Do you ever do anything with the footage? Or is this more to keep record of your life?

Spam!

[videocamera]

[Steve had said it was a barrier between Andrew and the real world, and ultimately, that's what it is. He can distance himself from things that are hard to deal with, view them remotely.]

I've edited some of it together sometimes. But I don't-- My computer's not good enough to do that very well. It's just, I don't know-- Yeah, a record, I guess.

Spam!

[lydiascreams]

That sounds nice. Memories aren't always as vivid as you'd like.

[She's more sincere when she says that than she's been. She has lots of pictures of her and her best friend and yes, some videos, but they had so many conversations and so many nice moments together, she wishes she could watch them again in a video rather than try to force herself to remember them.]

You must have a lot of hours if you film everything.

Spam!

[videocamera]

[He glances up from the camera when she says that. For every memory he'd like to remember there are half a dozen he'd rather forget. His dad, the kids at school, his mom, Steve... With a frown, he looks back down at the screen, filming the stairs as they walk up them.]

Yeah, I've-- I started a few months ago, back home, so there's a lot. It's not really for anything. It's just something I do, you know?

Spam!

[lydiascreams]

[Clearly he doesn't really share her wistfulness but then, she thinks that's a good thing. Maybe he hasn't lost someone close to him, someone he wishes he could remember exactly how they were, no matter how much time goes by.]

Yeah. I draw a lot when I don't want my mind to wander too much. I guess it's similar.

Spam!

[videocamera]

[He doesn't think it's that similar, but he doesn't bother trying to argue it with her. He doesn't really want to explain the camera, not to some popular girl he's barely even made small talk with. There's a few moments of silence before he asks:] So... what kind of stuff do you draw?

Spam!

[lydiascreams]

[Lydia eyes him for a second, she's good at reading people so she's fairly sure she's right about him not thinking so but she shrugs it off.]

Whatever comes to mind, usually. But I was practicing with live models before I came here.

Spam!

[videocamera]

Like life drawing or whatever?

[He sometimes draws a little, but mainly fantasy warriors or anime-esque characters. Not so much from life.]