one - [video] - i'm stronger than all of this

[videocamera]

[The screen clicks on and Andrew appears, his face extremely pale except for the reddish patches of scabs and scarring on the right side of his face. There's remnants of blood below his nose and on his chin, like he just had a nosebleed and didn't wipe it off completely. Which is exactly what happened. He speaks quietly but his tone hints at both fear and anger.]

What is this, huh? What did you do to me? I can't-- [He interrupts himself with a more frantic note in his tone] Is this some kind of, of joke?

[His voice gets flatter.] I shouldn't be here. I'm stronger.

[The journal starts to shake, the picture jittering slightly. Then Andrew's nose starts to bleed again and the shaking stops, position slightly changed, now angled to give a shot of a messy bedroom behind Andrew's shoulder. His face is mostly off screen now but you can see his hands held up to his nose before the feed shuts off]

Comments

[fireincarnate]

I know. But you're not alone, all right? You're not helpless. [She can be earnest about that, sincere, but it doesn't erase the worry in her voice, or the discontent.] But it - depends. There's no set schedule, on who's chosen.

Lately we've gotten - random pairings, that don't last. But I don't know how much power those Wardens have.

[videocamera]

[Helpless. Alone. That's exactly how he feels, no matter how sympathetic she sounds or how nice she's being. It's worse than he'd ever thought, not being able to use his mind the way he should be able to.]

What about normally? How much power do the wardens have normally?

[fireincarnate]

Not a lot, honestly. The Admiral is the guy pulling the strings. You can talk to him, if you want, but it probably won't help.

But - if you're careful, you can explore what you can do, right now.

[videocamera]

[He almost doesn't want to, doesn't want to know his limits or how little he actually has left.]

I just want it to work. Every time I do anything, even small stuff, it-- I can feel this pressure, you know?

[fireincarnate]

I know. Believe me.

But it's still there. It can be enough, if you know how to use it. You don't need much to, say, make a punch harder, or make a dodge faster.

[videocamera]

[A pause.]

Do you... Have you got powers?

[fireincarnate]

Yes. [She raises a hand; the little trinkets on her desk start dancing around it.]

[videocamera]

[Something like a mix between fascination and hunger lights his face as he leans closer to the screen to watch. It's a moment before he speaks, quietly.]

Is it telekinesis? What else can you do?

[fireincarnate]

It is. I'm a telepath, too. [She doesn't look like she's making any effort at all.]

[videocamera]

[He doesn't want anything else right now than to be able to use his powers normally as easily as she's using hers. His eyes follow the dancing objects closely.]

Telepathy, that's... like talking in someone else's head, right? Or reading their mind?

[fireincarnate]

Both of thus, yeah. I...try not to do it without permission, but it can get difficult, sometimes. [Emotions run hot on the Barge. It's like walking through a forest fire and trying not to see the flames.

And sometimes - sometimes it would be so much easier if she could just make people listen to her.]

[videocamera]

Why? [He's still watching intently.] Is it that you can't turn it off? You just do it without meaning to?

[fireincarnate]

I can shut it down, if I make an effort. But it's like - keeping your eyes closed, or clamping your hands over your ears. [She refuses to be that vulnerable. Not any more, and not here.]

[videocamera]

You're a warden, aren't you? Your powers aren't blocked?

[fireincarnate]

Yes.

But I could very easily have been an Inmate. [Her lips twitch; a brief, dark whimsy.] Power like ours - well, you know the saying, right?

[videocamera]

Which one? There's lots of sayings about power.

[fireincarnate]

I was thinking "absolute power corrupts absolutely".

[videocamera]

Right. Okay.

[Yeah, that sounds like a warden-y way to think. He's not buying it.]

[fireincarnate]

You think I'm just giving you platitudes, huh?

[videocamera]

Something like that.

What did you do, anyway? That could've gotten you stuck here on the inmate side.

[fireincarnate]

[Her voice lowers.] I destroyed a world. All of it. Everyone.

Because I lost control. Because my needs mattered more than their lives.

[videocamera]

And you're still here as a warden? That's-- Jesus, I didn't do anything like that.

[fireincarnate]

Yes. Because I chose to end it, before I hurt anyone else.

How did you die, Andrew?

[videocamera]

I-- [He drops his gaze from the camera. He can't help remembering it all: his fight with Matt, the cops with their guns, standing in that square and screaming, screaming, shattering the plate glass office windows, wanting to bring the buildings down and destroy the city, wipe every last person off the face of the planet-- and then the statue's spear, running him through before he could finish it. It had been almost instant, but he'd known what was happening in that last split second of consciousness.]

I don't want to talk about it.

[fireincarnate]

[She didn't expect an answer, really, and only nods.]

It doesn't have to be the end. It doesn't have to be your last memory.