one - [video] - i'm stronger than all of this

[videocamera]

[The screen clicks on and Andrew appears, his face extremely pale except for the reddish patches of scabs and scarring on the right side of his face. There's remnants of blood below his nose and on his chin, like he just had a nosebleed and didn't wipe it off completely. Which is exactly what happened. He speaks quietly but his tone hints at both fear and anger.]

What is this, huh? What did you do to me? I can't-- [He interrupts himself with a more frantic note in his tone] Is this some kind of, of joke?

[His voice gets flatter.] I shouldn't be here. I'm stronger.

[The journal starts to shake, the picture jittering slightly. Then Andrew's nose starts to bleed again and the shaking stops, position slightly changed, now angled to give a shot of a messy bedroom behind Andrew's shoulder. His face is mostly off screen now but you can see his hands held up to his nose before the feed shuts off]

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[videocamera]

[Andrew, on the other hand, is basically a giant ball of nerves right now. He answers the door a moment after she knocks, cracking it open a sliver and peering out before cautiously opening it a little wider.]

Hi. [He doesn't sound sullen exactly, but he definitely doesn't sound enthused by the whole situation.]

Spam!

[lydiascreams]

Hi.

[She eyes him for a moment and she can tell he seems wary, but she doesn't care.]

It will be a walk over to level 2, can you make it?

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[videocamera]

A walk isn't going to kill me or anything, I'm fine. [Better than he should be, considering. Yes, he's got scabs and burns on his arms and legs, but they're healing - like they're from injuries that happened weeks ago. It took him a while to work up the nerve to check but there's no sign of where the spear went through his chest.

He's got a small video camera in one hand and as he steps out the door, it's clear he's filming. He pans from his bedroom behind him, to the Barge hallway, to her. It feels strange and clunky to have to hold the camera by hand, but he can't risk using his abilities again right now.]

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[lydiascreams]

Hopefully it won't.

[As they walk, she watches him filming everything. It's not like the queen of selfies is camera shy, but it feels weird to have him randomly filming her like that.]

What are you doing?

Spam!

[videocamera]

[The camera has been drifting from her to the hall doors they're passing, but he's filming her when she asks about it; he looks down, focusing on the small picture in the camera's digital screen.]

Uh. It's just something I did, at home, I guess. I like to film stuff. Record it. [Yes, he knows people think it's weird. No, he probably won't stop.]

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[lydiascreams]

[Well, that certainly explains why he'd think someone like her wouldn't talk to him. Because it is weird. But no, she's not planning on asking him to stop. Whatever comforts him while he transitions into the Barge. At least he's not hurting himself.

And it's not like he can upload a video of her looking less than perfect to the internet from here anyway.]

What kind of things do you usually film?

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[videocamera]

[The fact that she doesn't immediately say he's a freak for it wins her a few points with him.]

I don't know. Just, everything? When I go out, go to school, stuff like that. Life and stuff. [He shrugs, still watching her on the small screen rather than looking at her.]

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[lydiascreams]

[She looks down at the camera for a second, because she'd rather look at the person she's talking to and have them look back, but then she focuses on his actual face again.

After all she figures he must have some kind of social anxiety and this might help him with it.]

Do you ever do anything with the footage? Or is this more to keep record of your life?

Spam!

[videocamera]

[Steve had said it was a barrier between Andrew and the real world, and ultimately, that's what it is. He can distance himself from things that are hard to deal with, view them remotely.]

I've edited some of it together sometimes. But I don't-- My computer's not good enough to do that very well. It's just, I don't know-- Yeah, a record, I guess.

Spam!

[lydiascreams]

That sounds nice. Memories aren't always as vivid as you'd like.

[She's more sincere when she says that than she's been. She has lots of pictures of her and her best friend and yes, some videos, but they had so many conversations and so many nice moments together, she wishes she could watch them again in a video rather than try to force herself to remember them.]

You must have a lot of hours if you film everything.

Spam!

[videocamera]

[He glances up from the camera when she says that. For every memory he'd like to remember there are half a dozen he'd rather forget. His dad, the kids at school, his mom, Steve... With a frown, he looks back down at the screen, filming the stairs as they walk up them.]

Yeah, I've-- I started a few months ago, back home, so there's a lot. It's not really for anything. It's just something I do, you know?

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[lydiascreams]

[Clearly he doesn't really share her wistfulness but then, she thinks that's a good thing. Maybe he hasn't lost someone close to him, someone he wishes he could remember exactly how they were, no matter how much time goes by.]

Yeah. I draw a lot when I don't want my mind to wander too much. I guess it's similar.

Spam!

[videocamera]

[He doesn't think it's that similar, but he doesn't bother trying to argue it with her. He doesn't really want to explain the camera, not to some popular girl he's barely even made small talk with. There's a few moments of silence before he asks:] So... what kind of stuff do you draw?

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[lydiascreams]

[Lydia eyes him for a second, she's good at reading people so she's fairly sure she's right about him not thinking so but she shrugs it off.]

Whatever comes to mind, usually. But I was practicing with live models before I came here.

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[videocamera]

Like life drawing or whatever?

[He sometimes draws a little, but mainly fantasy warriors or anime-esque characters. Not so much from life.]

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[lydiascreams]

Yeah. It was mostly for my art class at school. I didn't actually get to finish my project before coming, though.

[And she kind of wishes she had that drawing of Aiden. But once they got through their deals, at least he was going to be alive again so she could finish it.]

Spam!

[videocamera]

Oh. [There's a few beats before he asks the next question. Yeah, he'd spent time with Steve and Matt, but it's been a while. He's used to being withdrawn, silent.]

What, uh, what was your project?

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[lydiascreams]

[She's used to moments of silence in conversation. Because of Allison. Her best friend has always been a lot quieter than her. And sometimes, even Lydia allows herself to be more introspective. But now isn't one of those times.]

Live model drawing. You know, to get better at anatomy and facial features. My biggest challenge are the eyes.

Spam!

[videocamera]

Right. [If he wasn't so poorly socialised, maybe he would actually continue that conversation or try to ask her questions about why she likes to draw or something, but he's not. So there's a little more silence, then finally a different question. Because this whole place is insane and he's still stuck on details.]

How does it work for wardens, making a deal to come here? How does-- The Admiral finds you or something?

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[lydiascreams]

Something like that. [She's vague on purpose. Because she doesn't want to think about her deal. She doesn't want to think about all the things she wants to change. No, needs to change.]

Have you heard about floods?

Spam!

[videocamera]

Sort of? Um. [He fiddles with the camera, half-wishing he could just hover it like he should be able to. It was easier to use his powers for it, barely needing even a thought to hold it up and make it do whatever he wanted it to. On the other hand, physically holding it? He'd sort of forgotten how much of a shield it could be.]

They change the ship, and everyone on it. And they can get pretty messed up, apparently.

Spam!

[lydiascreams]

[For her, it very much feels like a shield. It's almost like she's not really having a conversation with him considering he's not actually looking at her.]

Pretty messed up is right. But, for the most part, the side effects seem to be only temporary. No matter how scary it gets during it.