one - [video] - i'm stronger than all of this

[videocamera]

[The screen clicks on and Andrew appears, his face extremely pale except for the reddish patches of scabs and scarring on the right side of his face. There's remnants of blood below his nose and on his chin, like he just had a nosebleed and didn't wipe it off completely. Which is exactly what happened. He speaks quietly but his tone hints at both fear and anger.]

What is this, huh? What did you do to me? I can't-- [He interrupts himself with a more frantic note in his tone] Is this some kind of, of joke?

[His voice gets flatter.] I shouldn't be here. I'm stronger.

[The journal starts to shake, the picture jittering slightly. Then Andrew's nose starts to bleed again and the shaking stops, position slightly changed, now angled to give a shot of a messy bedroom behind Andrew's shoulder. His face is mostly off screen now but you can see his hands held up to his nose before the feed shuts off]

Comments

[fireincarnate]

Both of thus, yeah. I...try not to do it without permission, but it can get difficult, sometimes. [Emotions run hot on the Barge. It's like walking through a forest fire and trying not to see the flames.

And sometimes - sometimes it would be so much easier if she could just make people listen to her.]

[videocamera]

Why? [He's still watching intently.] Is it that you can't turn it off? You just do it without meaning to?

[fireincarnate]

I can shut it down, if I make an effort. But it's like - keeping your eyes closed, or clamping your hands over your ears. [She refuses to be that vulnerable. Not any more, and not here.]

[videocamera]

You're a warden, aren't you? Your powers aren't blocked?

[fireincarnate]

Yes.

But I could very easily have been an Inmate. [Her lips twitch; a brief, dark whimsy.] Power like ours - well, you know the saying, right?

[videocamera]

Which one? There's lots of sayings about power.

[fireincarnate]

I was thinking "absolute power corrupts absolutely".

[videocamera]

Right. Okay.

[Yeah, that sounds like a warden-y way to think. He's not buying it.]

[fireincarnate]

You think I'm just giving you platitudes, huh?

[videocamera]

Something like that.

What did you do, anyway? That could've gotten you stuck here on the inmate side.

[fireincarnate]

[Her voice lowers.] I destroyed a world. All of it. Everyone.

Because I lost control. Because my needs mattered more than their lives.

[videocamera]

And you're still here as a warden? That's-- Jesus, I didn't do anything like that.

[fireincarnate]

Yes. Because I chose to end it, before I hurt anyone else.

How did you die, Andrew?

[videocamera]

I-- [He drops his gaze from the camera. He can't help remembering it all: his fight with Matt, the cops with their guns, standing in that square and screaming, screaming, shattering the plate glass office windows, wanting to bring the buildings down and destroy the city, wipe every last person off the face of the planet-- and then the statue's spear, running him through before he could finish it. It had been almost instant, but he'd known what was happening in that last split second of consciousness.]

I don't want to talk about it.

[fireincarnate]

[She didn't expect an answer, really, and only nods.]

It doesn't have to be the end. It doesn't have to be your last memory.

[videocamera]

If I graduate, you mean?

[fireincarnate]

Yes.

I know you didn't ask to be here, and that's not fair. [That will always be a sticking point, probably, albeit a conflicted one.]

But now that you are - you can make things better.